Alumnah’s Mick Swagger sat down with the self-proclaimed “Greatest Rapper Alive” to discuss his views on politics, the music industry, Martians, and his relationship with Baby…

Whaddup.

Wayne: Chea.

How is everything in the world of Weezy?

Sheeit — I’m chillin’ ya heard. Snowmen ain’t got NOTHIN’ on me. No homo.

Nice. Let’s talk about your status as an artist. Where do you think you rank among the 48230948390 people you lend your verses to?

Are you seriously asking me this question? Nigga I’m ME. He’s HIM. She’s HER. I am AIR, nigga. That’s where I rank. Among the birds…I rank higher than bird shit on a 747, nigga. Axe about me.

What’s in your three cups, there?

Water. Cuz I’m so hot. Like fire. Like FLAMES. No homo.

Why three cups?

Why not? I keep tellin’ ya’ll niggas that I am not of this planet. Ask Will Smith. He know. *takes sip*

Speaking of aliens…do you believe that there is life outside of this planet?

Listen.

I’m here to talk to you about how great I am. You supposed to ask me shit like “why am I so fuckin’ insane in the boof” and shit like that. Instead you wanna ask me about fuckin’ Martians?? Get. the fuck. outta here with that shit, man. ET….wuddup!! *does that weird laugh*

Okay…gotcha.

No you don’t “get me”. No one does. I’m like the Christmas present you was promised by ya’ broke-ass daddy. I’m that hot.

How is Baby?

Sexy.

Hm. Wow. Ok. What about his current situation?

Maaaaaan them bitch ass Feds ain’t got nuthin’ on my Daddy. At the end of the day we still Cash Money. I got the Power of Greyskull, nigga. I’m the hottest nigga on the planet. Fuck it, so is my daddy. He hot too. No homo. Bird shit, nigga.

*takes sip*

Bird shit.

Why are you the only Cash Money member that is so close to Baby?

He my Daddy. When we kiss it ain’t on no homo shit. Like, in fact — that’s the most unhomo-ist thing a nigga can do his kiss his daddy on the mouth on a sunny day while standin’ next to TQ. Fuck it. We ALL sexy.

*blank stare*

For real…niggas be actin’ like they on our level. You ain’t on my level, nigga. You ain’t even got the mushroom yet, no homo.

Whatever you say. How do you feel about 50 Cent taking all of these jabs @ you?

I love jabs. They expose your face to hooks & shit…and when it comes to hooks — that nigga ain’t got nathan on me. I’m the Joe Frazier of hooks. He’s just Ali.

But I thought —

Fuck what you thought and what you thinkin’ nigga. I said it. ME. Weezy F. Baby. Air. Sky. Hov wuddup!! (laughs again)

How did that “Hello Brooklyn” feature with Jay come about?

He told me he was lookin’ for that hot shit that only a nigga like me could give him.

In those exact words?

Chea.

Whats more important nowadays — lyrics or swagger?

Swagger is the protons. Lyrics is the neutrons. Put ‘em both together and you got one hot-ass electron, no homo.

Don’t you mean “atom”?

No. Electron…a hot one. FLAMES.

Who do you think will win the next Presidential election?

Not Obama.

Why do you say that?

Cuz he’s a nigga.

Fair enough. You’ve been constantly accused of swagger-jackin’ other rappers’ flow and style of dress. Do you have anything to say about that?

Yeah. Fuck ‘em. If I was worried about what other people think about what I wear I’d be naked right now.

Lets not go there.

no homo.

Thank you.

Bird shit.