“They either hate on you or they a Stan…” - Phonte “Percy Miracles” Jenkins

Wuddup.

With all of the Pimp C = southern G.O.A.T convos circling the net, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that Hip-hop fans will never agree on who is the “Greatest Of All Time.” With all of the haters & stans out there, it simply cannot be done. However, what we can come really, really close to agreeing on is the list of rappers I like to call LLAMAs — Longest Living Almost-famous Music Artists (copyright pending — I want a quarter every time someone says it (c) J. Jonah Jamison). Some examples include:

Scarface

UGK

Too Short

Devin The Dude

E40

….just to name a few. Being a LLAMA differs from being a GOAT for a few reasons — one being that industry “success” is not required (After hearing who’s been nominated this year….who really wants a Grammy nowadays anyway?), and another being that having a nationwide fan base isn’t necessarily a factor. There are a few requirements as well: you’ll obviously have to have a decent discography, you’ll have to have featured on more songs (with prominent artists) than Lil’ Wayne (tough, I know), and you’ll have to have had at least one major label deal in your more than 10-year run as an artist.

The most important part of having LLAMA status is still being in the game. No retirement. These cats are still out there, grindin’, tryna pay back the label for that big-ass house they bought with their first advance check. Touring, featuring, touring. I had the pleasure (nun) of meeting Too Short @ an invite-only function that he and his manager put on to promote his new album. He gave a little speech at the end, telling us how much he appreciated the DJs, promoters, and other tastemakers playing that God-awful “Blow the Whistle” track, and how grateful he was to still be able to put out albums at 40 years old. TOURIN’. On Freeway’s sophomore album, Scarface warns young thug-rappa-killas that “a fool at 40, a fool forever/don’t be a fool at 40, dude…get cheddar”. FEATURIN’. These guys continue to keep the boat afloat, catering to their small, yet loyal fanbase amid a declining interest in Hip-hop.

So, let’s add to the list a little….who else deserves the “LLAMA” title? Who doesn’t?